To all the fine, fine men...

I see some of you struggling and I've decided to give you a little heads up. Here, in no particular order, are 15 pointers that come to mind...



1) If you are more than 5 years younger than us, do NOT start off a conversation by saying, "I got a thing for older women." We get the message loud and clear if you are talking to us.

1.5) If we tell you we believe you are too young for us, please, I beg you, don't say, "Age ain't nuthin' but a numba." You are not Andre 3000...

2) Also under the younger man heading, don't claim maturity over your peers and then say some crap like, "I just saw your pic and couldn't stop think of hammerin' that ass." Point proven...

3) Any and all men: sending us a message like, "Your beauty enhances the light of even the brightest day..." It's quite possible, back when we first got the Internet, way back when, back then, we might have believed the first man who typed this, but trust us, we've heard it or it's cousin or step-brother more times than we care to count. Have the decency to at least make up your own lame ass line.

4) If you want to compliment me, actually have something to say that approaches the truth.

5) "You look sweet in your pictures," makes no damned sense. Someone cannot look sweet. Act sweet, hell even taste sweet, sure. Your eyes don't have taste buds.

6) If you "checked out" my profile, you will see that I have listed a whole lot of information about myself. If you can't take the time to read what I've written, well it surly makes me think you just might be illiterate, or (gasp!) only interested in the physical.

7)"I'm not like ALL men!" True, you aren't like all men, maybe just 99.68%...

8) If you ask me if I cam and I tell you no, don't think you can convince me by offering to do a strip tease for my entertainment.

9) If you check out my pics and notice that I'm fully clothed in all of them, do not comment on my singular body parts. If I'm spread eagle on a bed in boyshorts and a bra, by all means, feel free to comment.

10) If on my profile I've listed many favorite books and ended with "Too many to count. I'm reading constantly; it's my passion!" And under the heading of "favorite books" you've written, "lol, i dn't lk red-in"... uh, yea, probably not a good match...

11) Unless my profile picture has me in a diaper, refrain from calling me "Baby".

12) If my status is listed as "single", don't ask me if I'm married. And then act surprised and say, "wow, how could a woman like you be single?" uhhhh, probably because the eligible partners are just like you... oh sorry, I mean 99.68%...

13) If I say I'm athletic and love participating in sports and the last physical endeavor you have mastered is the one handed pole vault and/or egg toss, yea, let's just leave it there...

14) Don't think you can cajole me into meeting you by claiming my resistance is because I am "afraid" of you. I have a black belt. I teach self-defense. I can kick your ass. The only thing I'm "afraid" of is early onset dementia and swallowing some of the swill you are attempting to sell me.

15) If our skin colors are of a different palette, don't assume or suggest that I don't want to date you because you are "not white"... Idiocy knows no color, no race.



Bonus!

16) If you came across more than 4 words in this diatribe that you didn't know the meaning of (including "diatribe") and you thought it was acceptable to "just skip over them" because you'd still get the overall gist, then you definitely don't want to meet me.

Catcalling the Lioness

Before I moved to Belize, I was never once subjected to whistles, hissing, hey babies, or provided commentary about my physical attributes and actions of such on the street. Now riding my bicycle to work elicits at least one pejorative utterance from the teeming testosterone enhanced masses. Never mind I'm wearing a uniform and school ID. Never mind I'm probably teaching his sons and daughters. No, my crime is being on the street, shamelessly brandishing female secondary and primary sexual characteristics. Sometimes, depending on my mood and the obscenity level of the comment, I'll respond with humor. Once a young man called after me, "Teacha, teacha! I wanna go back da skool!" My immediate response was, "Hmmm, bwai, you wa fail!" We both had a chuckle and went about our days. At other times, the bile rising so quickly to my mouth, I'm surprised I don't vomit at his feet. Take for instance the man I met one Sunday morning walking hand in hand with his primary school aged son and daughter. As he held their hands and passed me, he made sure I knew exactly how and where he'd like to lick me. It's no wonder that many of our young females walk around, head bowed in shame or alternately with a weighty chip on their shoulder, one that drives them to respond with cursing and backchat. Men rarely seem to understand our frustration, citing we should be flattered or even amused. "Don't worry when they're calling. Worry when they stop!" And, "It's one of the pitfalls of being beautiful." It's more like one of the pitfalls of having a vagina, I say. I guess I misspoke earlier because it's really not breasts and pubic hair that set these men off because if it was we'd not see uniformed police officers hissing after uniformed primary school girls. When this is mentioned to some well-meaning and enlightened men, they will admit that the first time their prepubescent daughters described how a man verbally assaulted them on the street, they were angry and disgusted. "I guess becoming a father changes us," they say. Well, hell! Weren't you ALL sons at the inception? As India Arie sang, "When you talk to her, talk to her like you'd want somebody to talk to your mama..." And do we really need to channel Aretha and start demanding our R-E-S-P-E-C-T every time we venture to the corner shop, the bank, the dentist, the daycare, the workplace? Do we have to turn our society into some kind of militant feminist off off Broadway musical just so we can reach our destination unmolested? I remember the first year I attended Sisterhood Camp: one week in Cayo with 50 girls, 8 female staff, 3 female cooks and a male owner and a maintenance man who kept out of the way until suppertime. At one point I realized my usual "walking about" tension was gone. I felt free, relaxed, light. Then I realized, I hadn't been hissed at in 5 long, glorious days. I shouldn't have to exile myself from the co-ed world to feel this peace. I shouldn't have to feel this way at all. She shouldn't have to feel this way. You shouldn't have to feel this way. Guys, we women DO think some of those same things you say. Trust me, we are sexual beings and we see a man sometimes and THINK - "Damn......I'd like to a, b, c...and even z with him..." But that's where it ends. Somehow we have a special thing called self-regulation. Well, maybe it's not really that special. I don't think it's attached to the X chromosome. I'm sure have as much as we do. Use it. Everything you think doesn't have to come immediately spewing from your mouth. Unlike some religious dogma, I don't think lusting in your mind is a sin. Enjoy the visual stimulation without resulting to verbal provocation! If you want to greet us, a "Good morning, Miss." is fine. Most of us even don't mind a "Good morning beautiful/lovely." It's the "baby, sexy, fine piece of ass..." we dislike. When you are out with friends and they make a comment like this, please tell them it's not cool to do that. Also, talk to the women you love and respect. Ask them how that kind of harassment feels. Then listen to them. We can all get along just fine, as long as we respect one another. Remember, every woman is someone's daughter, sister, aunty, granny, and mother... Talk to her like that.

Self-Defense in Belize

CJC Self Defense Club performance at CJC Expo 2010

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renee, Your Karmic Alignment is: Enlightenment!

Score: 23 You have a lot of positive karma, and have good intentions in life. People would normally characterize you with being a kind, sensitive giving person. Remember that by creating positive karma seeds, they will soon blossom. If you work hard enough it is capable to gain enlightenment, and maintain inner peace.

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Enough

Enough

I'm tired of being your pastime
Somebody to do until someone better comes along

The for right now girl
The one who isn't imagined in the future
My role as an adventure
A cool chick
But not someone for a commitment
The fun one, the raw one
The doncha wish your girlfriend was just like one
But not the girlfriend kinda one

And when I'm in the paper
And when you hear me on the radio
Or you see me on the TV
You can say to your friends

That used to be MY GYAL
or I know her
or I dated her
or I fucked her
or she was crazy about me
or she loved me

And when they ask you
“Why not anymore?”
What will you say?
She wasn't spontaneous enough
Underneath a building
In an alleyway
In the rain
Or she wasn't open enough
In high heels
Full body fishnet
Kama Sutra oil
Or she wasn't enough
Simultaneous orgasms
Good, game, and giving
Pushing personal boundaries

Where will you find what's right here, in one woman?

'Cause only you won't see it
Heard it so many times, it's like a mantra
“He didn't know how good he had it”
But someday this woman will be enough for one man
And one good man is all I need.



4:05am 19 November 2009 on school trip to Dangriga, bus on Hummingbird Highway
Should have listened to my second thoughts then... a pre-exorcism poem...

God Is Not a Woman

She would not have permitted Her daughters to suffer so
She would not have made a tree of knowledge and forbade Her sister from partaking
She would not have punished Her women for expressing their sexuality
Permitted chastity belts, public stoning, and clitoral circumcision

She would not have created those in Her image to be tormented by unrealistic standards of beauty
To be ravaged by anorexia and bulimia
Disfigured by binding shoes and devices
Molded by girdles and push up bras
Mutilated by a plastic surgeon’s knife

She would not allow the companion She made for us
To impregnate us and then abandon
To make us feel shame
To dominate us
To brutalize us with his fist, his foot, his penis

She would not have made us the spoils of wars and the souvenirs of serial killers
She would not have allowed our fathers, and uncles, and cousins, and brothers, and neighbors, and priests to destroy our innocence

And She would not have allowed us to pick up where our men left off
Abusing our sons and daughters
Rejecting our mothers
Scratching the eyes out of our sisters

No, God, is most definitely NOT a woman

6:02am bus to Dangriga – Garifuna Settlement Day (19 Nov 2009) school trip

Me and My Two Dorothys
Dorothy of my father to the left
Dorothy of my mother to the right
Me age 11, day of Catholic confirmation

One of my first poems that I kept....

Dorothy à Deux


I had two Dorothys growing up
How could one girl be so lucky?

I surpassed them both in height when I was 10 years old
The similarities end there

The Dorothy of my father was short, round, feminine
Rarely saw her out of a dress – she looked funny feeding the cats in Grandpa’s pants and rubber boots
Her cookie jar was always full of homemade goodies
She didn’t raise her voice
She didn’t raise a fuss
She spoiled us terribly
She said the rosary every day of her life; she carried a beautiful one in her purse
She relied on the kindness of others for transportation
She didn’t like to make waves

The Dorothy of my mother was short, not quite round, not necessarily feminine
Rarely saw her in a dress – she looked different at weddings and funerals and such
Her cookie jar was always full of store-bought goodies
She’d raise her voice
She’d raise a fuss
She didn’t spoil anyone
She might have said the rosary privately; she didn’t advertise
She drove all over the godforsaken country going where she wanted, when she wanted
And please, don’t criticize her driving, just hold the hell on!
She didn’t care about making waves

I said goodbye to the Dorothy of my father when I was 13, the weekend of my primary school graduation

But I wasn’t alone, the Dorothy of my mother was right there
She was with me, tanning in the backyard, talking about hot men to find at the mall
She took my mind off the pain of the first Dorothy’s passing

Who will take my mind off today?

My father’s Dorothy was the Dorothy of my childhood
My mother’s Dorothy was the Dorothy of my adolescence, adulthood
I needed them both
I still do

One taught me unconditional love, caring for family and animals, kindness, gentleness, Godliness

One taught me self-reliance, confidence, strength, independence, unconditional love, Humanness

Both made me, Me

Dorothy, Dottie,
Dottie, Dorothy,
Me


April 2005
This poem was written when the Dorothy of my mother was dying. I still miss them very much.

My Poetry

Like most people, I began writing poetry in the midst of adolescence. After some years as a "grow up", I threw out all those angsty little tidbits and decided that poetry was the thing of drama queens and literary giants, one of which I not longer wanted to be and the other that I never believed I could attain. Some years back, while teaching English at Muffles Junior College, I was complaining about how much I despised proctoring final examinations because of the boredom of walking around, saying nothing, for 2 consecutive hours. A co-worker of mine suggested I write a poem, so then I began writing only during final examinations and joked that I would produce an anthology when I retired called, "The Final Poem". Then something magical happened in August 2008, really magical because I can't identify the trigger. I began writing poetry in earnest. And some of it wasn't half bad. For a brief time, I was nearly obsessed with poetry, even thinking poetically. It was a bit disturbing, but I seem to have found a balance between working, living, and poetry. I will start sharing them here. All poems posted on this blog are created by me unless otherwise cited. Any comments would be appreciated.

My First Time

Ok students, here is what you do. Go to www.blogger.com/start and follow the directions to set up your blog space with templates for the layout and your color scheme. You can add a picture too and edit your profile. After you have set it up, when you are ready to write your first blog, click on new post in the upper right hand portion of the page. Then you will be presented with a form and all you need to do is start typing. Please post organized information by keeping your postings in paragraphs. Just enter a blank line between each paragraph. Hope you enjoy doing your assignments in this medium. If you have any questions, come see me in my office and I can help you set up your blog. Also remember to write down the address for your blog so I can access it to grade your journals and autobiography.